The Demo Site

"maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road" -Rascal Flatts

While reading this you might think that i am still bothered or disturbed with the things that are currently happening between us. Maybe I still am. Right now, I'm not asking for friendship anymore. I know that it's too much to ask. But if you can't give me back the friendship could you at least give me peace.

Things seem to be getting worse than they were before. A lot of our friends told me that I will just have to wait because things will eventually get back to normal as time goes by. But it is the other way around. It is like longing for a wonderful sunrise in the morning and you will wake up with rainy days. It is sad. I never expected in my wildest thought that things could get as ugly as it is right now. But like the weather things are ever changing. But again it's sad because I can't see it right now that it is changing for the better. Before, even if it seems so hopeless, I keep holding on only to find out that I'm stupidly hoping for that little bit of room for realizations and forgiveness. And now, I'm starting to realize that to hope for such thing to happen is to wait for something that is impossible to come. It pains me to realize the reality--that some things you have lost are hard to recover or worse, it cannot be recovered anymore no matter what you do. I thought it's hard but it's harder than i thought. And I have to deal with it no matter what it takes. I have to free myself from holding on. By that, it will be easier for me to accept things and move on.

It's been quite a long time since i keep telling myself that everything is going to be fine though lots of things have already changed. Maybe it's not yet working well at this moment but i have faith that it will soon. There are still lots of things that I have to learn. Things about letting go and moving on, about acceptance and forgiveness, and about respect even in the absence of love. By then, all the things about this will not bother me anymore. By then, i will remember what it is to be truly happy.

In time, everything that has happened will not matter to me anymore. Nor the questions i need to ask, the answers i need to know, and the things i want to say. In time not long from now, I know that I will move on and I will be over all of these things. And I hope in that time you will also do.

P.S.
It is with a lighter heart while I am writing the half part of this note.

-aLoN